Michelle Lynn Mayes -

I know first hand of the danger of anti-depressant medication.  The following is a journal entry that I wrote on January 7, 2004. 

On Sunday night I thought I was losing my mind. I thought, this is what people mean when they say they are having a break down. Of course, I wasn't losing my mind, but that episode led me to do some extensive research involving many medical journals and medical websites. Thank God I did.

I have determined, from what I have read (which were very reliable resources), that I am suffering from Serotonin Syndrome. It is a very rare condition, but real nonetheless.

Apparently, there are certain drugs that should not be mixed together, for risk of toxic interactions. As I said, this is a rare condition; only 2% of the population has been documented to have suffered from this. Of course, as we all know, many people don't go to the doctor to get diagnosed anyway, so the number could be higher. I'm not mad at my doctor...he just didn't know. But all 3 of my antidepressants have the potential to contraindicate each other, leading to a toxic level of serotonin in the brain.

I've know for over 2 months now that something wasn't right. I just wasn't getting any better. In fact, as each new med was added and dosages were increased, I became even MORE depressed. This of course, is one of the symptoms of SS. There are many symptoms, and not everyone experiences all the symptoms of course. The symptoms that I am experiencing are: severe headaches, severe mood swings (similar to bipolar), high blood pressure, increased bruising, muscle rigidity (which helps to explain all the pain I've been in lately), weak ankles, feeling "spaced-out", body aches, flu-like symptoms, confusion, gastrointestinal problems, etc. I know I'm leaving something out...I just can't remember everything right now.

One of the biggest symptoms that I had (which led me to believe something was wrong), was the severity of insomnia that I have had in the past few weeks. First of all, please don't think I have relapsed back into my drug habit, because I have not, but even after taking countless sleeping aids, muscle relaxers, etc. I still could not fall asleep. I wouldn't even get drowsy! This happened overnight. If you remember from a previous entry, one muscle relaxer would knock me out within 5 minutes of ingesting it.

Monday was the first day without Paxil and Buspar. I'm remaining on Wellbutrin until I see my psychiatrist on the 31st and discuss this with her. Tuesday night I slept like a log. Coincidence? I think not. Once the drugs began to leave my system, my sleep patterns are slowly trying to restore themselves. So today is day 3. According to all of the literature that I've read, today should be the worst day. I've already become a real bitch to be around. The mood swings are normal, however, and my family is being very supportive of me right now. The headaches are a bitch. My entire head, face, and neck throb in pain. The body aches are bad too. Earlier this afternoon, it hurt so bad that I couldn't even roll over on the bed. I had to lie perfectly still. They say the first week is the worst for withdrawal symptoms. Then, it usually takes about 5 weeks for the drugs to be fully out of your symptom.

I'm so relieved to finally know what was/is wrong with me. This week has already been hard on me and I expect it to get worse before it gets better, but I'm taking it in stride. I must do this to get better. So I'm dealing with it with a surprisingly good attitude. I'm thankful I'm not in the 18% of patients who fall unconscious, slip into a coma and die. 82% of the patients fully recover. I'm awake, so I believe I will be just fine. :-)

Please keep me in your prayers, however. Prayers always help! In many ways, this is like detox all over again, except this time I am purging my body of "legal, prescribed" drugs. Since I went through something similar to this about 3 months ago, I am more prepared for it. That helps a lot.

Story 2

When my sister was 17 years old, she sought treatment for her depression and was immediately (on the FIRST visit) diagnosed with the following:  She has bipolar disorder with mixed episodes, borderline personality disorder, bulimia, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. They put her on some new meds (if I remember correctly they included, Prozac, Effexor XR, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Klonopin, Gabitril, and Lithium).  ALL at one time!!!  My sister began to exhibit the following symptoms:  "medicines that made her worse and behave very violently, her total lack of respect for her body, her family, God, you name it. She inflicts pain on herself. Because she thinks she deserves it.  My parents were at the end of their ropes. Our entire family and doctor have told her that she needs to check herself into a hospital. She refused, threatened our lives and her own, etc. My dad thought he was going to have a heart attack because she has been so violent. My mom couldn't even go in to work today because she couldn't stop crying. She said, she felt like if things didn't change that she was going to have a breakdown. I drove to my sister's place of employment and convinced her to take a leave of absence and get treatment. She finally agreed."

I finally got my sister to see a new psychiatrist who immediately took her off of the majority of her medications.  Now, 4 years later, the only thing she has to take occasionally is Klonopin for her anxiety attacks.

I hope that by revealing my personal experiences with the dangers of antidepressants that something will be done about the frequency in which they are prescribed.  Every time you go to the doctor with some complaint, he hands you a prescription for an antidepressant!  I think the doctors are getting kick backs from the drug companies for the number of prescriptions they write.  Surely all doctors don't think an antidepressant is going to treat every single thing you complain of.........................................

Story 3

Since July of 2006 I had been off of all psychiatric medications and seemed to be doing fine.  In October of 2006, I contracted Salmonella poisoning that set off an autoimmune response in my body.  I developed reactive arthritis and Crohn's disease.  In January or February of 2007, I began to see a psychiatrist again for my depression.  My depression was actually stemming from being chronically ill and being unable to properly care for my children or be the wife I used to be to my husband.  Anyway, my new psychiatrist placed me on Tegretol (mood stabilizer), Klonopin (anti-anxiety--which I have taken several times with no side effects) and then she added Buspar (for anxiety).  On March 27th, 2007, I attempted suicide.  The first time I had ever tried to kill myself.  EVER.  I took several bottles of pills because I just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.  I didn't want to live in physical pain anymore.  That was my rationale.  I was rushed to the ER and the last thing I remember was them telling me to lay on the bed...that's it.  I woke up in the ICU.  I was in my "right mind" now and wanted to go home and be with my family.  The ICU has a policy where only 1 family member can visit for 10 minutes at a time, 2 times a day.  So I was stuck.  They even padded the sides of my bed so I wouldn't hurt myself.  What made matters worse is that they would not give me any medication for my pain, the MAIN reason I tried to kill myself...the extreme abdominal pain I was experiencing due to the Crohn's disease.  Unfortunately, my primary care doctor did not have privileges at this hospital, so I was left to the care (or uncare) of the doctor on staff, who accused me of being a drug seeker.  He actually wrote me a prescription for Zoloft while I was in the ICU!  They also forced me to take 1 pill while I was there!!  If I could only go back and show him my doctor's records from the past year, I would love to shove them in his face to prove that he was wrong.  But I digress.  While talking to Dr. Tracy, she mentioned that last Thursday they just came out with a study that proved that mood stabilizers doubled the risk of suicide in patients.  I had only been on Tegretol for 2-3 months and then attempted suicide.  I DO NOT think this was a coincidence at all.  Tegretol was one of the drugs mentioned in the study.  I just wanted to share this story with you, and again, I ask that you please do not use my name.  I just thought this would be important in mentioning since I heard what Dr. Tracy told me about mood stabilizers.....................................................

Surely you can figure out how to make these into links..I'm at a loss.  I'm very wary about that last story having my name tied to it, but at the same time, it is a very important story to tell because I actually attempted suicide and then the hospital doctor gave me Zoloft while in the ICU!  So I'm trusting you with this.  If you think it will help your cause, please use it.  I prefer my privacy but I am also a strong advocate against the use of anti-depressants.  I'll let you make the judgment call on this one.

Let me know if there is anything else I can do to help (I already posted on my website/blog) and let me know where I can go to view the "buttons" once you have them up and running.

Drugs I have been prescribed and taken with horrible side effects:

Me (Michelle)

Zoloft (2000)

Paxil (2002)

Paxil CR..they kept upping my dose (2003)

Effexor XR (2003)

Lexapro (2003)

Wellbutrin, Wellbutrin SR, and Wellbutrin XL (2003-2004)  They actually wanted me to continue taking this while I was pregnant but I REFUSED!

Celexa (2005)

Wellbutrin XL *again* (2006)

Prozac (2006)

Buspar (2003)

Abilify (2003)

Lamictal (2005-2006)

Tegretol (2007)

Lithium (2006)

Seroquel (2005)

Geodon (2007-2008) *trying to ween myself off of it slowly*

Xanax

Valium

Ativan

Klonopin (least side effects)

Librium

Ambien (2003)

Restoril (2003)

Sonata (2003)

Lunesta (2006-2007)

My sister:

Depakote

Lithium

Zyprexa

Gabitril

Seroquel

Klonopin

Prozac

Celexa

Lunesta

Elavil

*She may have taken other SSRIs but I do not remember*

*I don't remember the dates that she took these medications, but I do know that she started on the depakote at age 14, begin to cut herself after being on the drugs, was placed in a mental institution, repeatedly attempted suicide, and most of the others she was prescribed during the same month.  Now she is only on Klonopin for occassional panic attacks and is doing fine*

I thought this might be of importance to you and you can use this if you wish.  Like I said, I am here to help you in anyway that I can. 

Another surprising (or not surprising) fact is that before being placed on these drugs we were diagnosed as having depression.  After being on these drugs for some time, our diagnosis suddenly changed to bipolar disorder (for both of us).  Interesting, huh?  I firmly believe that the drugs imitated bipolar disorder and that we do not suffer from bipolar disorder.

God bless you for what you are doing! Love, Michelle